Pass It on: Give me Faith!
There will come times in our life when we feel like such a lost cause. I guess you can say that I am feeling like that right this very moment. And no, it is not because of anyone’s influence, purely my own self sabotage.
I haven’t updated in a long time, not because I forgot about my blog or didn’t want to, because I seriously wanted to—I have such a passion for writing, and that’s why I blog….or try 🙂 at least—but because I didn’t have the words, and I don’t want to give words that are not inspired by God, especially since I am blogging about him.
But back on topic; here I am feeling like such an amazing loser, feeling as if I keep going through a long dark tunnel with the end nowhere in this century. I feel so trapped, so immobile. And what makes this a scary thing is that it is all my doing. My hands are the ones that are digging this grave.
How scary right?
Well yes it is scary, and this is from grave-digging-girl herself. But what is even scarier is knowing what is happening. Like I said in the first line; there are trials for everyone. I don’t care what your religion is or is not, we all suffer hard times. These times however, if we know what it is, are trials we go through. Yes, even people who don’t believe in God go through trials whether they want to believe it or not, because the truth is plain: the devil hates us.
Heck yeah, he gloats when we live our lives according to his doing instead of Jesus’. He’s not here as some great liberator to save us from some tyrannical ruler. He is here to distract us from the path we should take, the path our very souls (the very being of us) desire to go—back to being one with God. He gloats because he knows that he has committing a grave offense, and while he already picked his path—which is destruction—we have countless chances to go back to God (YES EVEN WHEN WE STRAY TO OUR LOWEST) because of God’s grace and mercy. He sacrificed his only son for us.
I get passionate when sharing the Lord, even now when I feel like I am the last person who should, because I know! I know what that peaceful calm is, even when there is a storm raging on around or inside of me. The power, people, the powerful love that God has for us that was shown on the cross by Jesus is so good. Oh my gosh, his love is hard to explain. Its like floating and not having to open your eyes to see if you’re going out too deep, because God has us safe in his arms, safely tucked into his love. And he is the One and Only God of this Universe. He is the controller of the roaring seas, the raging winds and this hell-filled world we live in.
That being said, I feel far away from him right now. I hate it. And here I am trying hard to run back to him, when he’s right beside me. I may not feel it right now, but I know it with my very soul, because he dwells inside my heart. He has that space and I love him so much.
I wish I didn’t have to do things I feel so ashamed of, or feel like I disappointed him, but he makes everything work out for his Good. And I don’t know what’s going on but he does and I just need to trust him. I don’t know who will see or glimpse this, but I want to say trust in Jesus even when you are at you’re lowest. His love never changes.
That being said I wanted to pass on this song: Give Me Faith by Elevation Worship.
Its Beautiful and it came to me not too long ago when I was dwelling on just what a fickle and despicable person I am. My Father in Heaven, I pray for whoever read this, and I pray for myself and others out there who are struggling Lord. Father, you have a plan and its Good Lord. Help us to give over control and focus to you Lord. God, Please help me. I feel so far away, but I know that you are right here. God though I feel ashamed and unclean, I know that by your grace and your mercy lord I am washed cleaned. I am washed whiter than snow. Lord God, Thank you. Thank you for loving me continuously and wholeheartedly. I am waiting for you God. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.