Conviction…It’s My Turn

despair

It’s funny how conviction comes to a person, and how it comes when you are least prepared for it. Recently I have been experiencing conviction when correcting my niece. I try speaking to her softly in order for her to understand why it is that what she is doing is wrong, and why I am correcting her—because I love her and don’t want her to be hurt.

I noticed, while speaking to her, that the words I use to explain why I am correcting her correlates with what God says in the bible. And then it hits my heart, here I am correcting this child when I am being less than exemplary. Now I am sitting here and my sister is reading the bible to my nieces, and the words totally hit me. She is speaking about obedience (Deuteronomy), and how it helps you to live freely with favor here on earth, while you are waiting for all the goodness of heaven.  And there is a heaven.

It’s no secret that I have been going through struggles, and like everyone who experiences this; I don’t want to. The funny thing is that, and I’m not making excuses here, I keep remembering that it says in the bible that God is the potter and he is molding you, and as potters do to their creation, you will be put in the fire before you’re complete. 

I believe a hundred percent that God is working in me, but sometimes I think that I completely ignore this and do what I want. The stubbornness my heart expresses scares me so much, and sometimes leaves me speechless. Writing this now I am thinking I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. But then I just remembered what my pastor always teaches us: “Spiritual warfare is real. It’s a war that is constantly going on, and one that is taking place between your ears.”

How true these words are. Your head and your heart is that battlefield. We get distracted by what we like, what feels good, and stop focusing on where is God in all this. Once I felt this warfare: the spirit of Christ literally warring with this heart of mine. I told my friends about it, and what do I get? Their own stories that is basically the same. Sometimes it seems I understand, but then there are times like this when I am like “God deliver me fast, because I don’t want to be a disappointment.” But I can’t tell the master of this universe what to do, for his thoughts and ways are higher than mines, so here I am waiting and running this race of life. Ha how apt, human race. Paul knows his stuff.

race

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