I Want to Overcome

So…

I have been trying to get words out for months now, but have been self conscious wondering if it is really what God has moved me to say. How will it affect others who happen across my blog. If I have learned anything, its that words said or written carelessly, even with the best of intention, can harm.

I started this blog, knowing that I want to write about what is the most important to me, and to others who don’t even realize: Jesus. But more than anything, I wanted to write about how I struggle, and how many times I feel like I am no where close to Him when He is in fact right within me.

Being a fairly new Christian, even one who grew up seeing her family turn to and call on God countless times, in both the good and the bad times, and knowing that that was where I wanted to end up, I still struggle with everything. I struggle to the point where I feel like He has no business to like me, while my spirit inside is desperately trying to unclench my tightly closed teeth to yell out for Him. Wondering if this is my last time.

Wanting to just run and be held by Him, asking, begging, crying for forgiveness. Forgiveness for being on the fence, being totally apathetic towards my walk.

I know Jesus is right with me, seeing everything, understanding the raging battle going on inside more clearly than I ever can. But the human part of me, is basically feeling too crippled to move, wondering why is it He’s so good to me, and when will He find out I am the biggest fraud there is, and release my hand.

It gets so bad that I second guess myself sometimes, wondering what is my true intentions for saying I believe? Fire insurance? I know its not that, because I can’s pretend with God. He knows me better than I know myself. I know the reason I am living is because of Him, and the reason I can be remotely nice is because of Him. Yet still I struggle.

overcome

I hope to share my struggles on here, for it says that by the blood of the lamb and the words of our testimony, we shall overcome. And I want to overcome. I have hope. And most of all I want you who have chanced upon my little blog to know that the struggle is real, and I want you to overcome. Confess to Jesus over and over, and you will be closer to overcoming. I believe this and I will be doing this also.

Disclaimer: The picture isn’t mine, I saw it on google image. the Url is: http://www.worshiphousemedia.com/worship-tracks/32174/Overcome

Our Path—Temporary, or Eternity

One ridiculed, and one asked for forgiveness.
When we are in a less than nice situation, our backs either go up, or we own up to our wrong doings.

I have been in a position such as this, and I have responded in both ways before. As you can probably guess, I have regretted the first response more times than not. And you might have experienced that before yourself, where you replay the many ways you could have done things differently. Hindsight.

The thing is, we grow everyday as human beings. We have the option to learn from our mistakes, so that we can do things differently—or share with others what the right decisions are.

Christ Jesus came to earth to bring us a new covenant, so that we may return where we once were, where we were made to be—walking side by side with God our father.

christian-crosses-background

He hung on that cross for us, even though He didn’t have to. But He wanted to. Wanted to. He was innocent of everything, yet He suffered for us. He hung with two men, one who ridiculed Him, and one who recognized Him for who He was and asked for forgiveness. Two men, similar crimes, but different response at the end of their lives.

You don’t have to continue on a lifeless path, you have the chance to turn away at anytime. No matter how bad you feel it is. We make thousands of choices in everyday, and one influence the other. So when you make a great decision, it will influence your other choices, and so on. We have His love and Grace with us.

Pastor Bob at my church shared a true story once, about two brothers. They grew up in a loving family, had great opportunities, but responded differently in life. One chose to kill President Lincoln, and the other actually saved the life of Lincoln’s son.

Its safe to say that we all know what life is about: Love. We see it in movies, and hear it in some songs. But more than that, we yearn for it ourselves. So why don’t we live the love we want? Why is so hard? Because we don’t have Jesus. God is love. Not has love, but is Love. Until we accept Him, how can we have, show and give the love that is so important. It all influences the choices we make, and the first choice we should make is to choose Jesus.

obey-god-forked-path

The path is not easy, but it leads to living. Living true, free and most of all, it leads to a whole eternity of Love! Be set free in every way. Your spirit is so very thirsty, and only the creator can help it thirst no more.

Pass It On: This is Amazing Grace

BGL

This Is Amazing Grace!

Oh How joyus life is, when your soul is where it should be—with the creator.   –by Me Smile

I can tell you right this moment that I did not wake up in a happy mood, in fact I am not happy right now. But the joy that I have inside is  completely in control.

I read my bible in a halfhearted attempt, bot even remembering to pray until after I started. But I always want to be honest with God (even though he knows what’s already going on) I still like to say it out loud to him.

After finishing, I kept hearing this song in my head, and so I sung it out loud. Knew I mixed up the lyrics so I went to search it up—saw that the singer of the song was an artist I just came to know. Galvanized, I went on Spotify and listened to it. Then I listened to the song that introduced me to the artist: This Is Amazing Grace by Phil Wickham.

Guys, our God is amazing. He is love, He is joy, and we yearn for Him so much. He is what our soul is looking for, He is that missing link that we search so hard to find. You can’t be half hearted with Him, for we need Him in every way. Call it a crutch, call it whatever…but don’t let your pride, sorrow, addictions, or whatever burdened that you keep inside separate you from Him. Its not worth it.

He is our healer, our redeemer, our everything. Go to Him, and let Him love you and you love Him. Gosh I wish I can put my feelings and my experiences in my life into words, and show you how real he is, but I can’t. I wouldn’t do it justice. I just have Faith—and no its not easy all the time, but His love makes it bearable.

“This is amazing grace
This is unfailing love
That You would take my place
That You would bear my cross
You would lay down Your life
That I would be set free
Jesus, I sing for
All that You’ve done for me” —Phil Wickham

This song woke up the joy that was below all the melancholy that was starting to envelop me. Singing it just made all that deep seated joy break free. And I do have joy, because I know my King is real, that He loves me, and having faith in Him opens me up to His grace and hHs unfailing love. I pray that you will learn of this AMAZING GRACE and LIMITLESS LOVE that you have for free, and feel safe and warm in this unsure and cold world.

Pass It ON: Strangely Dim

city-lights-dim-dark

I have wanted to make a post about this song for a long while now, but for some reason I haven’t attempted until today. I heard this song many times on the radio and sung along with it, but it wasn’t until I was going to hang out, in order to shake this cooped up feeling that was hanging on me, that I really listened to this song. I was just singing along with the Christian radio when the lyrics made its way to my heart. That’s when I started crying, ruined make up and everything. But I felt so free, so absolutely blessed. Here I am, down on myself, running into trials here and there, wondering for the billionth time why God even wants to save me?

I sing this song when I can, just to remind myself that God loves me no matter what, even when he reprimands me. I am his, for he has declared it so, and I have taken the path of truth. I want tot share the lyrics because its so true. You focus on God, and everything grows strangely dim. We forget a lot of the time that God is mightier than our biggest troubles, he will deliver us. We just have to fix our eyes on all that he is.

I’ve got all these plans piled up sky high. A thousand dreams on hold and I don’t know why. I got a front row seat to the longest wait and I just can’t see past the things I pray today.
But when I fix my eyes on all that you are, then every doubt I feel deep in my heart grows strangely dim. All my worries fade and fall to the ground cause when I seek Your face and don’t look around
Any place I’m in grows strangely dim.

Sometimes where I stand on this narrow road is in a raging storm
Or a valley low but oh….
But when I fix my eyes on all that you are, then every doubt I feel deep in my heart grows strangely dim. All my worries fade and fall to the ground cause when I seek Your face and don’t look around
Any place I’m in grows strangely dim.
I don’t know, I don’t know what tomorrow may hold. But I know, but I know that You’re holding it all so no matter what may come
I’m gonna fix my eyes on all that You are ‘Til every doubt I feel deep in my heart grows strangely dim let all my worries fade and fall to the ground. I’m gonna seek your face and not look around ‘til the place I’m in grows strangely, strangely, strangely dim.
By Francesca Battistelli

I am going to fix my eyes on my Jesus. I wish you guys would fix your eyes on him, let him wrap you in his love. Its going to be hard, but its worth it. It’s difficult to let him lead for we get afraid of the physical, but I want to. He’s helping me to. Thank you Jesus.

Disclaimer: Picture is not mine, it is from http://www.layoutsparks.com/pictures/dim-0.

Pass It On: Hello My Name Is….

I tell you, I know we all go through things, and deal with them in whatever way we use to cope. But I don’t want to deal with these things myself, I want to lean on God. I want to. Because I found out on my own, even though it was repeated in the bible, that I can not do it alone. Yah, there are a lot of people who do not even understand where I am coming from, and probably–most likely– think I’m just being another Jesus freak and religious nut. I really am a Jesus freak, not so much a religious nut. Anyways back on topic; getting my heart and my head to line up is just, oh my gosh I’m going to say it, the devil of a time. Funny how that guy always pops up.

When you are a follower of Christ, not the religious “I’m going to church, I’m going to pray and then I’m going to do it Sunday again”, you gain knowledge and understanding, and you see the world in a new way. I am not trying to make fun of people who makes this their MO, because we all meet Jesus in different ways. As long as you are seeking him you will grow leaving the milk and moving on to eating the meat. Things we use to do BC (before Christ) and what you do AC (after Christ) is looked at differently by us.

We left the old us, born again (spiritually) and having the new us with the spirit of Jesus living inside. No this isn’t religious crock, and other than my words I don’t know how to even show you proof. I wish you can feel what I feel when I say the name of Jesus when the world is so dark for me. He is peace, utter peace. He is with me, and he loves me. I love him so much, and I get mad at myself when I don’t live the way I know is right. When it takes me a bit longer to go to Jesus and ask for forgiveness, and for help. Not because I don’t want to, but because I am ashamed. Because he will take me back, and it gets to a point where I feel like I am taking advantage. Even when I know I am not.

But what I wanted to get to is that we have a lot of regret after we have lived a certain way, and conveniently forget about god. And if you are a Christian, and invited and accepted the spirit of God, you know that Jesus is always with you. He’s walking with you. I conveniently block out all this, but I know, and so I have regret on top of regret on top of regret, which leads to the woulda-shoulda-coulda, that then leads to a defeated mindset, where I bring myself down and not turn to god.

But there is always good news where Jesus is concerned, and that once you give your life to him, nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, can separate you from him. Not you, not your misconceptions, not what you did, what you will do, and not Lucifer and his demons. And they are real. It’s a spiritual warfare going on, and God is there calling. And if you already went, he’s always with you, wanting to walk with you and help through. He wants to do it, because he loves us.

I think I deviated a bit, but I just wanted to share this song that God has led me to listen to. It literally hit the core of me. So here is Hello My Name is by Matthew West:

This is by Matthew West, and he has other great song. no copyright infringement intended, I got from MatthewWestVevo channel

Lets keep running this race until we are with our heavenly father and creator, the one who loves us so completely.