I tell you, I know we all go through things, and deal with them in whatever way we use to cope. But I don’t want to deal with these things myself, I want to lean on God. I want to. Because I found out on my own, even though it was repeated in the bible, that I can not do it alone. Yah, there are a lot of people who do not even understand where I am coming from, and probably–most likely– think I’m just being another Jesus freak and religious nut. I really am a Jesus freak, not so much a religious nut. Anyways back on topic; getting my heart and my head to line up is just, oh my gosh I’m going to say it, the devil of a time. Funny how that guy always pops up.
When you are a follower of Christ, not the religious “I’m going to church, I’m going to pray and then I’m going to do it Sunday again”, you gain knowledge and understanding, and you see the world in a new way. I am not trying to make fun of people who makes this their MO, because we all meet Jesus in different ways. As long as you are seeking him you will grow leaving the milk and moving on to eating the meat. Things we use to do BC (before Christ) and what you do AC (after Christ) is looked at differently by us.
We left the old us, born again (spiritually) and having the new us with the spirit of Jesus living inside. No this isn’t religious crock, and other than my words I don’t know how to even show you proof. I wish you can feel what I feel when I say the name of Jesus when the world is so dark for me. He is peace, utter peace. He is with me, and he loves me. I love him so much, and I get mad at myself when I don’t live the way I know is right. When it takes me a bit longer to go to Jesus and ask for forgiveness, and for help. Not because I don’t want to, but because I am ashamed. Because he will take me back, and it gets to a point where I feel like I am taking advantage. Even when I know I am not.
But what I wanted to get to is that we have a lot of regret after we have lived a certain way, and conveniently forget about god. And if you are a Christian, and invited and accepted the spirit of God, you know that Jesus is always with you. He’s walking with you. I conveniently block out all this, but I know, and so I have regret on top of regret on top of regret, which leads to the woulda-shoulda-coulda, that then leads to a defeated mindset, where I bring myself down and not turn to god.
But there is always good news where Jesus is concerned, and that once you give your life to him, nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, can separate you from him. Not you, not your misconceptions, not what you did, what you will do, and not Lucifer and his demons. And they are real. It’s a spiritual warfare going on, and God is there calling. And if you already went, he’s always with you, wanting to walk with you and help through. He wants to do it, because he loves us.
I think I deviated a bit, but I just wanted to share this song that God has led me to listen to. It literally hit the core of me. So here is Hello My Name is by Matthew West:
Lets keep running this race until we are with our heavenly father and creator, the one who loves us so completely.