I Want to Overcome

So…

I have been trying to get words out for months now, but have been self conscious wondering if it is really what God has moved me to say. How will it affect others who happen across my blog. If I have learned anything, its that words said or written carelessly, even with the best of intention, can harm.

I started this blog, knowing that I want to write about what is the most important to me, and to others who don’t even realize: Jesus. But more than anything, I wanted to write about how I struggle, and how many times I feel like I am no where close to Him when He is in fact right within me.

Being a fairly new Christian, even one who grew up seeing her family turn to and call on God countless times, in both the good and the bad times, and knowing that that was where I wanted to end up, I still struggle with everything. I struggle to the point where I feel like He has no business to like me, while my spirit inside is desperately trying to unclench my tightly closed teeth to yell out for Him. Wondering if this is my last time.

Wanting to just run and be held by Him, asking, begging, crying for forgiveness. Forgiveness for being on the fence, being totally apathetic towards my walk.

I know Jesus is right with me, seeing everything, understanding the raging battle going on inside more clearly than I ever can. But the human part of me, is basically feeling too crippled to move, wondering why is it He’s so good to me, and when will He find out I am the biggest fraud there is, and release my hand.

It gets so bad that I second guess myself sometimes, wondering what is my true intentions for saying I believe? Fire insurance? I know its not that, because I can’s pretend with God. He knows me better than I know myself. I know the reason I am living is because of Him, and the reason I can be remotely nice is because of Him. Yet still I struggle.

overcome

I hope to share my struggles on here, for it says that by the blood of the lamb and the words of our testimony, we shall overcome. And I want to overcome. I have hope. And most of all I want you who have chanced upon my little blog to know that the struggle is real, and I want you to overcome. Confess to Jesus over and over, and you will be closer to overcoming. I believe this and I will be doing this also.

Disclaimer: The picture isn’t mine, I saw it on google image. the Url is: http://www.worshiphousemedia.com/worship-tracks/32174/Overcome

Advertisements

Pass It On: For You, The Answer To Your Question

I hope this helps to lift you up, so you can see, and know, just how special you are to me, your family, and god who made you for a purpose. I love you, and I want you to know that. I’m not saying it because we’re friends and its what we do, I’m saying it because I love you! I love who you are, I love how god made you and I want you to love you and see what everyone who loves and knows you see’s. Truly loves and knows you. Be enlightened:

Why are you striving these days?

Why are you trying, to earn grace?

Why are you crying?

Let me lift up your face, Just dont turn away

Why are you looking for love?

Why are you still searching as if im not enough?

To where will you go child?

Tell me where will you run, to where will you run?

‘Cause I’ll be by your side, wherever you fall

In the dead of night whenever you call

And please dont fight these hands that are holding you

My hands are holdng you

Look at these hands at my side

They swallowed the grave on that night

When I drank the world’s sin

So I can carry you in, and give you life

I wanna give you life

And I’ll be by your side wherever you fall

In the dead of night whenever you call

And please dont fight these hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall

In the dead of night whenever you call

And please dont fight these hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

‘Cause I, I love you, I want you to know

Yeah I, I love you, I’ll never let you go

No, no

And I’ll be by your side wherever you fall

In the dead of night whenever you call

And please dont fight these hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall

In the dead of night whenever you call

And please dont fight these hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

Here at my side

My hands are holding you.

                           Lyrics for  “By Your Side”—By Tenth Avenue North

I love you! Whenever you feel helpless, you’re not. Whenever you feel alone.,you’re not. Whenever you feel unloved, you’re not. I’ll never stop telling you the words, I just want you to one day believe it and tell yourself it. I’m not perfect, I dont think anyone is, and I dont want to sound all know-it-all, as if I too don’t have those days. We all have those day’s…but it all depends on how you look at it and deal with it in the end. Dont let it build up and build up, just let it out, see whats real. Take it a day at a time if you have to. Just don’t ever feel like you can’t deal with it.

This post is dedicated to a friend of mine, and to everyone else out there who needs to hear these words. I NEEDED (still need) to hear these words. And I tell you, it brings tears to my eyes everytime. These words just remind me of the most wonderful and miraculous thing I have in my life (that we all have) and thats God’s love for us. All of us! Let it be a comfort and a reminder to you as it is to me.

He’s by your side 😉