That Special Something

It has been a while since I’ve written on here. Not for lack of wanting to, but because I never made the time. Writing is something that I’ve always wanted to do, and when I started my blog I wrote about things that I liked and knew others would be interested in. Then I wasn’t interested in putting out the same unfulfilling post. I erased all of that and chose to write about something lasting and important. Something so positively necessary for my life and yours, something that gives you true joy and strength to wake up in the morning. Something precious and passionate. Something filling. Something loving and so overwhelmingly good that you cant contain it and you don’t feel the need to hide it. Something that’s so inexplicably priceless, yet cost the most. Something I forever want to share with everyone I encounter: JESUS.

He’s that special someone, that special something. Trust me, he’s had arms around me the longest.

I Want to Overcome

So…

I have been trying to get words out for months now, but have been self conscious wondering if it is really what God has moved me to say. How will it affect others who happen across my blog. If I have learned anything, its that words said or written carelessly, even with the best of intention, can harm.

I started this blog, knowing that I want to write about what is the most important to me, and to others who don’t even realize: Jesus. But more than anything, I wanted to write about how I struggle, and how many times I feel like I am no where close to Him when He is in fact right within me.

Being a fairly new Christian, even one who grew up seeing her family turn to and call on God countless times, in both the good and the bad times, and knowing that that was where I wanted to end up, I still struggle with everything. I struggle to the point where I feel like He has no business to like me, while my spirit inside is desperately trying to unclench my tightly closed teeth to yell out for Him. Wondering if this is my last time.

Wanting to just run and be held by Him, asking, begging, crying for forgiveness. Forgiveness for being on the fence, being totally apathetic towards my walk.

I know Jesus is right with me, seeing everything, understanding the raging battle going on inside more clearly than I ever can. But the human part of me, is basically feeling too crippled to move, wondering why is it He’s so good to me, and when will He find out I am the biggest fraud there is, and release my hand.

It gets so bad that I second guess myself sometimes, wondering what is my true intentions for saying I believe? Fire insurance? I know its not that, because I can’s pretend with God. He knows me better than I know myself. I know the reason I am living is because of Him, and the reason I can be remotely nice is because of Him. Yet still I struggle.

overcome

I hope to share my struggles on here, for it says that by the blood of the lamb and the words of our testimony, we shall overcome. And I want to overcome. I have hope. And most of all I want you who have chanced upon my little blog to know that the struggle is real, and I want you to overcome. Confess to Jesus over and over, and you will be closer to overcoming. I believe this and I will be doing this also.

Disclaimer: The picture isn’t mine, I saw it on google image. the Url is: http://www.worshiphousemedia.com/worship-tracks/32174/Overcome

Our Path—Temporary, or Eternity

One ridiculed, and one asked for forgiveness.
When we are in a less than nice situation, our backs either go up, or we own up to our wrong doings.

I have been in a position such as this, and I have responded in both ways before. As you can probably guess, I have regretted the first response more times than not. And you might have experienced that before yourself, where you replay the many ways you could have done things differently. Hindsight.

The thing is, we grow everyday as human beings. We have the option to learn from our mistakes, so that we can do things differently—or share with others what the right decisions are.

Christ Jesus came to earth to bring us a new covenant, so that we may return where we once were, where we were made to be—walking side by side with God our father.

christian-crosses-background

He hung on that cross for us, even though He didn’t have to. But He wanted to. Wanted to. He was innocent of everything, yet He suffered for us. He hung with two men, one who ridiculed Him, and one who recognized Him for who He was and asked for forgiveness. Two men, similar crimes, but different response at the end of their lives.

You don’t have to continue on a lifeless path, you have the chance to turn away at anytime. No matter how bad you feel it is. We make thousands of choices in everyday, and one influence the other. So when you make a great decision, it will influence your other choices, and so on. We have His love and Grace with us.

Pastor Bob at my church shared a true story once, about two brothers. They grew up in a loving family, had great opportunities, but responded differently in life. One chose to kill President Lincoln, and the other actually saved the life of Lincoln’s son.

Its safe to say that we all know what life is about: Love. We see it in movies, and hear it in some songs. But more than that, we yearn for it ourselves. So why don’t we live the love we want? Why is so hard? Because we don’t have Jesus. God is love. Not has love, but is Love. Until we accept Him, how can we have, show and give the love that is so important. It all influences the choices we make, and the first choice we should make is to choose Jesus.

obey-god-forked-path

The path is not easy, but it leads to living. Living true, free and most of all, it leads to a whole eternity of Love! Be set free in every way. Your spirit is so very thirsty, and only the creator can help it thirst no more.

Pass It ON: Strangely Dim

city-lights-dim-dark

I have wanted to make a post about this song for a long while now, but for some reason I haven’t attempted until today. I heard this song many times on the radio and sung along with it, but it wasn’t until I was going to hang out, in order to shake this cooped up feeling that was hanging on me, that I really listened to this song. I was just singing along with the Christian radio when the lyrics made its way to my heart. That’s when I started crying, ruined make up and everything. But I felt so free, so absolutely blessed. Here I am, down on myself, running into trials here and there, wondering for the billionth time why God even wants to save me?

I sing this song when I can, just to remind myself that God loves me no matter what, even when he reprimands me. I am his, for he has declared it so, and I have taken the path of truth. I want tot share the lyrics because its so true. You focus on God, and everything grows strangely dim. We forget a lot of the time that God is mightier than our biggest troubles, he will deliver us. We just have to fix our eyes on all that he is.

I’ve got all these plans piled up sky high. A thousand dreams on hold and I don’t know why. I got a front row seat to the longest wait and I just can’t see past the things I pray today.
But when I fix my eyes on all that you are, then every doubt I feel deep in my heart grows strangely dim. All my worries fade and fall to the ground cause when I seek Your face and don’t look around
Any place I’m in grows strangely dim.

Sometimes where I stand on this narrow road is in a raging storm
Or a valley low but oh….
But when I fix my eyes on all that you are, then every doubt I feel deep in my heart grows strangely dim. All my worries fade and fall to the ground cause when I seek Your face and don’t look around
Any place I’m in grows strangely dim.
I don’t know, I don’t know what tomorrow may hold. But I know, but I know that You’re holding it all so no matter what may come
I’m gonna fix my eyes on all that You are ‘Til every doubt I feel deep in my heart grows strangely dim let all my worries fade and fall to the ground. I’m gonna seek your face and not look around ‘til the place I’m in grows strangely, strangely, strangely dim.
By Francesca Battistelli

I am going to fix my eyes on my Jesus. I wish you guys would fix your eyes on him, let him wrap you in his love. Its going to be hard, but its worth it. It’s difficult to let him lead for we get afraid of the physical, but I want to. He’s helping me to. Thank you Jesus.

Disclaimer: Picture is not mine, it is from http://www.layoutsparks.com/pictures/dim-0.