Rebellion

When I write these post, I pray that I am conveying just how real Jesus is. He is not an idea, He is not a teacher, He is not a prophet, He is God. More than that, He is the God that is living, and avidly searching for us.

Whoever comes across my post, I pray that the words will get to the heart of you. For I hope and pray that what I write on here points to Jesus and not me. While it may be nice to have pretty words, that is not what I am trying to do. I am trying to convey what I feel inside, what is happening to me. The pain that sometimes suffocates me, the pain I try to make sense of, and the one God knows. The one He wants to heal, and promises to heal…when I let Him.

After I wrote my first two post for the month of January, I have been thrown back into a vicious cycle. The one that always renders me ashamed, and makes me hide from the Lord. I hide because I know that  I am wrong. Its nothing new, and every time I go through this, I feel defeated. Well, like the last times, I am coming out with more knowledge.

My God, my savior is right here with me. I don’t feel it then, and I don’t forgive myself. But what pulls me back to the light is that He cares. He cares and He doesn’t let me keep myself away, for He gives me the strength to pray that prayer in my heart, asking for Him, even though I am too ashamed to lift my eyes to Him. To His light, His righteousness. His perfection, His perfect love.

I know that I am not perfect, but His perfect spirit within me makes me clean and helps me to be upright in front of Him. I realized that the more I fellowship and give in to the lord, the more trials come my way. The same trial, but more intense. I get overwhelmed and my fleshly nature battles with my spirit and I rebel. That’s right, Rebel! It behooves me also. Me! Rebelling, against the king of the universe. The giver of life, and love.

But t is true. The feeling of defeat is a recurring deceiver. I am pretty sure its not just with me. So here I am, another day of prayer, asking God for strength and thanking Him for His forgiveness. And praising Him, that he is God, and a merciful and loving one. I just pray that he pours his love out onto me, for I need to feel it.

I pray, Lord God, that you hold me in your arms, safe and protected. That no matter what may comes, I know that nothing is worth turning against you. For to be without you is crippling to me, in everyway. My spirit, my soul, my life, goes into a drought without you. The thirst gets overwhelming, and kills me slowly and intensely.  Father God, I just pray that you lift mine eyes to you, and help me to focus on you Lord God. I thank you for pulling me once again from that highway Lord. I thank you, for now  I am back with you, where I want to be, where I will stay until such times as you whisk me away Lord God, My God. In Jesus’ precious name I pray and thank you. Amen.

The Handoff (John 1:35-36)

I really enjoy reading this blog, and I really enjoyed the post.

THE RIVER WALK

The following day John was again standing with two of his disciples. As Jesus walked by, John looked at him and declared, “Look! There is the Lamb of God!” (John 1:35-36)

Read: Job 15:1 – 18:21

Relate: In junior high track I don’t think there was a single thing coach had us working on as frequently as he did the passing of the baton for those who were competing in the relays. I competed in discuss and triple jump these both required a good degree of technical skill and timing. Coach wanted me doing the high jump but I just couldn’t quite get it down enough to compete with the best. As tough as these skills were, however, they all were solo events. The thing that set the relays apart was that speed and timing had to be coordinated between two people. One was coming off their top speed while another was…

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Our Path—Temporary, or Eternity

One ridiculed, and one asked for forgiveness.
When we are in a less than nice situation, our backs either go up, or we own up to our wrong doings.

I have been in a position such as this, and I have responded in both ways before. As you can probably guess, I have regretted the first response more times than not. And you might have experienced that before yourself, where you replay the many ways you could have done things differently. Hindsight.

The thing is, we grow everyday as human beings. We have the option to learn from our mistakes, so that we can do things differently—or share with others what the right decisions are.

Christ Jesus came to earth to bring us a new covenant, so that we may return where we once were, where we were made to be—walking side by side with God our father.

He hung on that cross for us, even though He didn’t have to. But He wanted to. Wanted to. He was innocent of everything, yet He suffered for us. He hung with two men, one who ridiculed Him, and one who recognized Him for who He was and asked for forgiveness. Two men, similar crimes, but different response at the end of their lives.

You don’t have to continue on a lifeless path, you have the chance to turn away at anytime. No matter how bad you feel it is. We make thousands of choices in everyday, and one influence the other. So when you make a great decision, it will influence your other choices, and so on. We have His love and Grace with us.

Pastor Bob at my church shared a true story once, about two brothers. They grew up in a loving family, had great opportunities, but responded differently in life. One chose to kill President Lincoln, and the other actually saved the life of Lincoln’s son.

Its safe to say that we all know what life is about: Love. We see it in movies, and hear it in some songs. But more than that, we yearn for it ourselves. So why don’t we live the love we want? Why is so hard? Because we don’t have Jesus. God is love. Not has love, but is Love. Until we accept Him, how can we have, show and give the love that is so important. It all influences the choices we make, and the first choice we should make is to choose Jesus.

The path is not easy, but it leads to living. Living true, free and most of all, it leads to a whole eternity of Love! Be set free in every way. Your spirit is so very thirsty, and only the creator can help it thirst no more.

Pass It On: This is Amazing Grace

This Is Amazing Grace!

Oh How joyus life is, when your soul is where it should be—with the creator.   –by Me

I can tell you right this moment that I did not wake up in a happy mood, in fact I am not happy right now. But the joy that I have inside is  completely in control.

I read my bible in a halfhearted attempt, bot even remembering to pray until after I started. But I always want to be honest with God (even though he knows what’s already going on) I still like to say it out loud to him.

After finishing, I kept hearing this song in my head, and so I sung it out loud. Knew I mixed up the lyrics so I went to search it up—saw that the singer of the song was an artist I just came to know. Galvanized, I went on Spotify and listened to it. Then I listened to the song that introduced me to the artist: This Is Amazing Grace by Phil Wickham.

Guys, our God is amazing. He is love, He is joy, and we yearn for Him so much. He is what our soul is looking for, He is that missing link that we search so hard to find. You can’t be half hearted with Him, for we need Him in every way. Call it a crutch, call it whatever…but don’t let your pride, sorrow, addictions, or whatever burdened that you keep inside separate you from Him. Its not worth it.

He is our healer, our redeemer, our everything. Go to Him, and let Him love you and you love Him. Gosh I wish I can put my feelings and my experiences in my life into words, and show you how real he is, but I can’t. I wouldn’t do it justice. I just have Faith—and no its not easy all the time, but His love makes it bearable.

“This is amazing grace
This is unfailing love
That You would take my place
That You would bear my cross
You would lay down Your life
That I would be set free
Jesus, I sing for
All that You’ve done for me” —Phil Wickham

This song woke up the joy that was below all the melancholy that was starting to envelop me. Singing it just made all that deep seated joy break free. And I do have joy, because I know my King is real, that He loves me, and having faith in Him opens me up to His grace and hHs unfailing love. I pray that you will learn of this AMAZING GRACE and LIMITLESS LOVE that you have for free, and feel safe and warm in this unsure and cold world.